"It is not how these officers died that made them heroes, it is how they lived."

...or so we like to say.

It's even inscribed on the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Foundation (NLEOMF) Wall.  We pay those words great homage on police memorial days.

Unfortunately, the words are used with little sincerity.  For too many heroes, it's all about "how they died."  Too many officers have been buried in shame, their families shunned, after living proud and honorable lives. Some, overwhelmed by 20 and 30 years of trauma, and others with records of great deeds and medals of valor, are cast away in shame because the wounds they received in the line of duty were to the mind, not the body.

In our ignorance, we still do not recognize the proven fact that posttraumatic stress disorder is a physical injury just as much as a severe concussion or bullet wound.  It permanently damages the physical structure of the brain, altering the ability to make rational choices and often changing one's life forever. 

For more information on police PTSD and the causes behind police suicides, visit the article, PTSD is a Physical AND an Emotional Injury.

THE COST OF STIGMA

	Aaron Gilliland

One tragic example of this is a California Highway Patrol suicide in March, 2009. Officer of the Year, recipient of the Medal of Valor for Heroism and other awards, Aaron Gilliland died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in 2009. In 2002, he had arrived at the scene of an overturned, burning vehicle.  He was able to carry the elderly driver to safety, but returned to find the passenger trapped.  While extricating the woman, the flames began to engulf him, burning his uniform and hair.  Finally breaking her loose, he fell and broke his back.  Within seconds of the rescue, the entire vehicle burst into flames. Aaron was remembered, at least in the minds of his family, as an excellent officer, a fine man and a hero. 

The years that followed were terrible for what his father in law described as a "dedicated, courteous, honest, brave, and considerate officer."   Following his suicide, did his department look to see if there was a connection between the trauma of his incident and his job? 

• In 2008, Aaron wrote, "We see a lot of horrible things on a day to day basis from death which happens a lot where I work from infants to adults, people under the influence of many things and the horrible things people do to each other. We are out on the streets and highways where just by making a stop can end your life. I knew some Officers get killed by just being being on the right shoulder of the highway and get ran over by a dui driver or just careless one. Nobody cares for us until they need us. We are human just like everbody else."  

• A survivor writes, of her husband,  "I am a retired Police Sergeant and served for over 25 years. I met and married my husband, also an officer, and we had 2 beautiful children. When they were still little, my husband was working traffic and made a car stop. The end result was that the driver sped off with my husband hanging on to the window of the car for dear life. The driver grabbed his sawed off shotgun and my husband put all 6 rounds from his service revolver into the young man's chest as the vehicle was still speeding down the road.

"My husband was always haunted by the look of that man filled with hatred, even with his heart splattered all over the windshield. My husband had no choice but to let go of the car and drop to the ground. The car ran over him and crushed both of his knee caps. That was the beginning of the end. He suffered PTSD, which was not diagnosed until after his death.

Read "Can Police Work Cause Suicide?" and join the growing group of medical professionals, officers and survivors in speaking out!

If you are in crisis, call the National Hot Line at 1-800-273-8255.